How do a self proclaimed obedient child rebels?

It’s not easy growing up having only one parent at your side, especially if they decided it to be that way. My mother was the only person who guided me and physically be there when I needed someone in this sad plight of mine. But my father is always available to be at hand anytime, I still be my mother’s child because I’m not close enough to my dad to start any real conversation with him. I’ll stop with this depressing mood and start a topic that still haunts and keep me thinking until now.

The later paragraph is the overview of my dilemma. After knowing that my parents will formally separate, I keep on thinking what will happen to me next? Who I am going to be with? Will anybody respect me after it? (In my country way back my childhood; separation of parents is a no-no!) And yes I got it all answered. Finished all my studies, stayed at my mom’s side, and everybody empathized with me instead of judging my family.

Now here is the thing, I never rebelled after learning the situation, never thought of it actually. Well honestly I tried a little just to please myself that I’m hurting and capable of doing things beyond my parents’ rules. But still I have no luck, I’m afraid to disappoint them both of them. I love them very much that I can’t even think of letting them down.

Now I’m a degree holder, a registered nurse in my country, a loving girlfriend, and in spite of everything a compliant daughter. But not until recently after graduation after landing with my first job, I realized that I lost my drive to work. At first I’m on doubt of it be I believe it was just the strenuous long hours of travel between my house and mmy work place. Nope, it was not. I quit my job, pacifying my self that it was just intangible to work with that kind of circumstance. then I recalled someone said before or maybe a read it, I just cannot remember it, but it said that “most people who undergone a traumatic event in their childhood and was able overcome it has the tendency that later in their life it will manifest in their performance at work like being unsatisfied and less enthusiast to go to work.” Maybe it was the way it should be I’ve been good all my life, I’ve never taken the my problem seriously maybe unconsciously I’m hurting. Up until now, this problem is with me. Currently I’m working and I’m striving to be compassionate with it and yet i still find flaws with it. Maybe later I will be able to surpass all this when I’m emotionally stable.

Life must go on and through all this all a person can do is pray. God will always find a way to help us lighten our burdens.

my vacation last january 2008

It was a week before my future husband and his family departs to boracay, when I learned that I’ll be coming with them. Still in awe (honestly never been there ever), grab my things and started packing. I’m so excited because I really like to see this area in the Philippines where most popular people stay for relaxing. Another reason is that I’ll be staying in this spectacular place with the one person I dream of having beside me.

Living in an area surrounded by bodies of water, there will no better way to get to where we will be heading than through boats or ro-ro, as they had been tagged here in batangas. Although there are flights that can directly fetch us through there, we prefer to have the long route to be able to enjoy the places that we will be seeing along the way. We left at 4 in the morning and were able to step on the place at 5pm of that same day.

Is it a paradise for me? Yes! The soothing effects of the air that harmlessly brushing to our faces. Sunset that you think you’ve never seen and appreciated before. The sand is so white and so fine that you won’t get irritated by it clinging in to your body; you may think it also as very therapeutic, (a good scrub maybe). And the company of a very happy family completes the very peak of it. The long ride did not hinder us to take the plunge to the very calm beach of boracay. The water is so nice, so clean and so comforting. I can’t stop praising this place. I get out of words describing it. I just fell in love with it.

At night it was different scenery. You can pick any restaurant you want, of different specialties, and just pay enough to have a gratifying dinner of eat all you can. There are bars that you can hang out and mingle with
other people aside from our own color.

After we have settled to heart warming abode, the next day was a busy day. We took a boat that shows us other amazing island aside around the vicinity, island hopping as locals refer it. And we challenge ourselves to ride the flyfish, this was thrilling for the reason that this big (able to carry 6 persons) raft like thing was being dragged by a speedboat and can throw you anytime you lose balance or grip to the handle. Anyway although it was exceptionally taxing still I enjoyed it.

My sojourn there cannot be compared to anything I have experienced as of now. It was a disconnection to reality, a partition between how miserable life is here in the Philippines and the fairytale life that I had experienced in my little amount time hanging out in that place.